Episode XII - The Curious Case of Culinary Cats
The Troubadour should probably stop talking! Join Erik the Troubadour as h[The management at Gadzooks, a Nerd apologize for the interruption, but Cthulhu and the internet cats insisted the following, properly researched and fact checked information be available to the listener when considering any claims or assertions made by the Troubadour in this episode. Firstly, a Jedi scouting assignment is not one of recruitment but rather to observe and evaluate young cultures on the verge of joining galactic society for potential membership in the Republic. Also, there is no correlation between this or any other Jedi mission assignment and the color of a Jedi’s saber. While it is true that many Jedi can be loosely grouped by their approach to the Force into one of three “schools of thought,” which are by no means official, mandatory, or ubiquitous among the Jedi, and that many Jedi who do ascribe to these approaches do tend to favor certain colors of saber (yellow, for instance, being popular among those calling themselves “sentinels”), no saber colors are by any means relegated or restricted to these groupings, and the choice of color is one each Jedi makes based on personal representations of their connection to the Force and NOT any classification, categorization, or duty assignment. As to Mz. Rey and her plans for the future, when reached for comment she replied she was not ready to make any firm announcements at this date. Secondly, the practice of celibacy is by no means required, or even directly encouraged, by the Jedi Order. A common misconception, the Jedi is actually discouraged from forming any overly strong attachments that may cause conflicts of interest or moral compromises. Thus it is marriage (or any other comparable cultural, faith based, or legal practices) and parenthood that is not allowed among the Jedi. Their first responsibility and priority must be the good of all people of the Republic, but a parent’s must be to their own child, thus creating potential conflict. Furthermore, being so strongly attached to someone (or something, hence the Jedis’ spartan lifestyle) creates the opportunity for fear, i.e. the fear of losing the object of attachment. And as Master Yoda so wisely said “fear is the path to the Dark Side, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” And so a Jedi must be accepting of and at peace with the possibility of loss in a way that such attachments simply don’t allow. Also on the topic of Jedi parenthood, Cthulhu would especially like to point out that two cases of force sensitivity being present in multiple generations of a family out of the hundreds of billions of beings that have lived throughout the history of the galaxy in no way is a significant enough sample size to make any claim of Jedi potential being a truly hereditary trait. Likewise, the cats everywhere on the internet would like to point out that while Luke Skywalker has shown impressive skill as a Jedi, given his late start and sporadic training, it is somewhat of a stretch to say he is among the best ever when compared to those who served at the height of the Jedi Order’s prominence, and that the only particularly notable use of the Force by Princess Leia Organa was pulling herself out of the vacuum of space which was almost as dumb as that midochlorian garbage and should thus be roundly ignored. Thirdly, on the question of funding and how it could make the Jedi beholden to partisan politics, or even complicit in corruption, it should be known that the Jedi is in actuality not funded by the Senate (though some concessions are made to the Order in return for their service), but in fact by the Jedi Order itself. While the most famous members of the Order are the saber-wielding Knights, Masters, and Padawans of its peacekeeping branch, the majority of Jedi actually serve in the Jedi Service Corps, using their highly honed force sensitivity in conjunction with one of the best educations in the galaxy to provide community service in fields ranging from agriculture to medicine, from engineering to exploration, amongst many others. And while these services were free of charge, in the course of their work Corps members made many advancements, discoveries, and innovations. The Jedi Order did no manufacturing or marketing of these things, but did retain patents and copyrights for which they collected licensing fees from many major corporations. Thus the Order produced its own revenue, all of which went into further funding the Order’s work and efforts, keeping them free of any outside influence or special interests. And lastly is the most prominent piece of anti-Jedi propaganda among Imperialists and internet trolls, that the Jedi are some sort of baby snatchers. Please remember that being in the Order is ENTIRELY VOLUNTARY, and any member may choose to leave at any time. The acceptance of younglings into the Order is at the discretion of the parents or legal guardians of said youngling, and may be declined. While it is true that under extenuating circumstances the Order may file a request with the Senate for review of the case for the possibility of conscription, this is highly rare. Furthermore, the use of “mind tricks” or any other force abilities to take a youngling from a rightful guardian is not only grounds for dismissal from the Jedi Order, but may mark the user as a potential Sith and result in disciplinary actions up to and including death. As to the age of recruitment, one must again consider the issue of attachment. The choice to enroll one’s youngling in the Order is a noble but difficult one, and only grows harder the longer the family has to bond with the child. Likewise, the younger the child, and the less concrete memories of the birth family they form, the less likely they are to harbor lingering attachment to them, and the more easily they will be able to consider their fellow Jedi as their family. It is a great sacrifice made by all involved anytime a youngling is recruited, but the youngest possible age has proven to be the least disruptive, allowing this sacrifice to be made for the greater good of the entire galaxy. And we would further remind the listener that it was the breaking of several of these practices that lead to the rise of the Empire and the end of thousands of years of peace and prosperity for all. We now return you to the previously scheduled show notes]us special guest The Oklahoma Kid.
(The Oklahoma Kid appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)
The Season Topic is…Channel Surfing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away
Eric’s Pick is…This is CNN
Oklahoma’s Pick is…Histo[DENIED]
The Domain is…Full Tilt Honky/Full Throttle Honky
The Joke is…Cats v. Your Face
The Concept of Mando Time is…Not to be confused with Hammer Time and/or Clobberin’ Time
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